Author Archives: murray

Interpersonal Skills vs. Interpersonal Awareness

People skills  really about a good handshake and not eating with your mouth open (although your mother was right, the aforementioned are important skills). The underlying intent of skills like etiquette, small talk, eye contact, handshakes, smiling, etc. is far … Continue reading

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The Human Mirror

When most of us walk into a room, we feel that everyone is looking at us, waiting for us to trip and fall. Of course the reality is that no one really cares but if you’re self-conscious by nature, it … Continue reading

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There’s only one “normal” person in the world and you’re lookin at him

When I was a boy, whenever I would describe another kid as “weird”, my father would say, “The only normal people in the world are you and me and I’m not so sure about you.” No one is normal. Learning … Continue reading

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Classes help socially awkward engineering students

Help is on the way for socially awkward engineering students. The Gemini Project, a new program in the University of Minnesota’s College of Science and Engineering, is teaching social and professional networking skills to students who may struggle in those … Continue reading

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Geek Crush

Every guy geek has been there and I’m assuming girl geeks have, too. Even OGs (old geeks) have been known to succumb. You’re so unaccustomed to having members of the opposite sex interested in you, you think that any girl … Continue reading

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A geek is judged by his cover

Geeks are purists who detest hypocrisy, shallowness, and self-promotion. You’ve sacrificed social acceptability for your obsession whether it’s Linux or community theater. But as a true geek, you accept the laws of physics, I assume. A cup is knocked off … Continue reading

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Man Bites Dog

My wife and I have a Chihuahua named “Burrito” whom we adore. I walk Burrito nearly every night in our neighborhood and I’ve learned a lot about him. Burrito is not a friendly Chihuahua – if there is there such … Continue reading

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When Dogs Can Speak

In an earlier post, I talked about techniques in becoming a good listener: Listening Orientation, Empathy, Acceptance, Congruence, Concreteness, and Reflecting. I want to talk a little more about acceptance,  the unconditional respect for a person for simply being a person … Continue reading

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How not to bring a negotiation to a boil

I didn’t want to buy a new stove.  I admit it. We were spending a ton of money on our kitchen remodel and our old stove is fine.  Yes it may not always automatically light-up when you turn it on … Continue reading

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Learning to speak human

Remember that time a few years ago when you were in a Nepalese restaurant and everyone was speaking Newari and you didn’t speak a word Newari at the time and it sounded like gibberish and you totally zone out? (Thanks … Continue reading

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Geeks become “interesting, admired, and inspiring adults…”

Geeks are often ostracized and scorned in high school because they’re outsiders, either refusing, ignoring or not understanding how to climb the pecking order of popularity. As described in the new book from Alexandra Robbins, The Geeks Shall Inherit the … Continue reading

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Bad People Skills Can Kill!

Jeremy M. Lange for The New York Times. Applicants prepared for “multiple mini interview” at Virginia Tech Carilion. Unbelievable but true.  According to a recent “New York Times” story (“New for Aspiring Doctors, the People Skills Test” ), “…a growing … Continue reading

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Tickle yourself to success — 7 Career building reasons to smile

When meeting people for the first time, the smile is paramount. A nice, relaxed open mouth, sincere smile. Not a closed lip, “I’ve got you figured out and you’re below me” smile. Not a big goofy “I’m so drunk I’m … Continue reading

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What Geeks Wished They Had Known in High School

Reporter Alexandra Robbins’ new book Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth contends that if you’re brainy or nerdy in high school, you may be more successful later in life. Her book follows 7 kids in private and public high schools who … Continue reading

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What in the heck is a “geek”?

In their annual  “Science and Engineering Indicators” report the National Science Foundation defines “geeks” as any workers with a bachelor’s level of knowledge and education in science or engineering-related fields or workers in occupations that require some degree of technical … Continue reading

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From the “you can teach an old dog new tricks” department

Influential business writer and management consultant Peter Drucker said this about learning the soft skills required in business, “It’s not magic, it’s not mysterious, and it has nothing to do with genes. It’s a discipline, and like any discipline, it … Continue reading

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America’s Geekiest Cities

The U.S. National Science Foundation has created a compelling way to define who is a geek and who’s not  so that they can gather data for their annual “Science and Engineering Indicators” report. The most recent version of that report … Continue reading

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Overcoming Social Anxiety: How to Enter A Room with Confidence

One of the more intimidating social interactions is entering a room full of strangers. Like the high school dance, it seems fraught with potential peril, a shunning may be right around the corner.  But walking into strange places is something … Continue reading

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Don’t scare with your stare; the secrets to eye-contact

When you make eye contact, it’s to demonstrate that you are listening, that you are connected with the other person. If you are connected, if you are listening, you shouldn’t have to make a serious effort to keep eye contact. … Continue reading

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Iphone Cufflinks. What’s next? Geek googles?

For the well appointed geek who always wears shirts with cuffs… what are cuffs?! Iphone style cufflinks are made from Rhodium plated brass and hand assembled into the geekiest cufflinks around. From shinycufflinks.co.uk at about $68. But who wears cufflinks?I’d … Continue reading

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CPR for mano a mano combat

Second only to the smile, the handshake is your greatest opening asset. In business, it might even be equal to the smile. Many of the techniques I talk about are to help you to disarm others by showing that you … Continue reading

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Read this story or you will mortally wound this 3 year-old

Geeks usually don’t like to get involved in conversations that aren’t about something they feel expert in.  You can talk about the new Playstation game but God forbid someone should talk about feelings or problems.  Male conversations are usually contained … Continue reading

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Geeks rule the planet, but can’t you pay just a little more attention to your appearance?

I know what you’re thinking… Craig Newmark of craigslist.org (pictured left) looks pretty cool, right?  If you answered “yes”, you just passed the geek test with flying colors and your “World’s Biggest Dork” certificate is on it’s way to your … Continue reading

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4 ways to rev up your social skills

Jumping into the business networking game might be a bit too strenuous for a geek’s first attempt at trying out and developing his or her people skills.  One low-risk way to develop people skills is to volunteer.

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Geek Groom Mix & Match Cake Topper- Groom Only $14

Is your groom a member of the “Geek Squad?” Show his personality on your cake with this interchangeable figurine. Co-ordinates with other interchangeable figurines for a truly personal topper. Buy it at google product search

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