Pathetic Geeks Stories

pgslogo08 Pathetic Geeks Stories

This is a very funny series of comic strips that are based on submissions from readers. Maria Schneider has drawn Pathetic Geek Stories since “oh let’s say 1993. Definitely sometime in the early ’90s. She is a former writer and Associate Editor of The Onion.”  The site appears not to have been updated in several years but is worth a look. One of my favorites is this one:

Ilettersdrool Pathetic Geeks Storiesn eighth grade, sporting a J.C. Penny’s Fox polo shirt (instead of Izod), cardboard-like Wrangler’s (instead of Levis), and a poor attempt at a feathered back hairstyle, I was destined to sit at the loser’s table in the school cafeteria. While my geek cohorts discussed REO Speedwagon’s High Infidelity and played a game of paper football, I noticed how my saliva had become thick from drinking milk. Caught in my own world, I attempted to see how far my saliva would stretch to the floor. For a few minutes, I tested it’s viscosity and elasticity, slurping it up each time, just before it snapped off. The last time, it must of reached two feet, before I sucked it back, slapping my forehead and chin before it went back into my mouth. With pride I looked up only to see Cindy, the hottest girl in the school, and her friends looking at me from the popular table with disgust. —C.P.
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