When you make eye contact, it’s to demonstrate that you are listening, that you are connected with the other person. If you are connected, if you are listening, you shouldn’t have to make a serious effort to keep eye contact. Human beings don’t stare into each other’s eyes continuously for long periods of time unless they’re in love. I met a guy years ago who read some book about eye contact and every time you’d see him, he’s stare at you. It was creepy. He didn’t have much to offer but he listened and just stared into your eyes. It was phony and strange. Be aware of eye contact, especially when you’re listening to others speak but don’t get fixated on this as an end all and be all. If you are focused, relaxed, interested, listening, you will make the right amount of eye contact.Don’t however look over the should of the person you’re conversing with, as if looking for someone else approaching. This gives your partner the impression that you’re just killing time with them until you meet some better.
How Well Do You “Read” People? Take this free (anonymous) test…
Did you know that up to 80% of a human being's ability to "read" other people -- that is the ability to understand what another person is feeling whether it be love, anger, sadness, etc. -- comes from observing another person's eyes?
Folks with ASD (autism spectrum disorder) often are unable to read the eyes.Take this simple test by autism expert Simon Barron-Cohen (yes, he IS Sacha's uncle!) to see how you do on the people reading scale.
Free People Skills Test
Here is a fun, free Social Skills Test from psychtests.com>. It takes about 30 minutes, it's anonymous (you don't even give your email address) and the results will tell you a lot about your people skills and in what areaa you might use a tune-up.
What's fun about it? Questions like these:
- When talking to people, I pay attention to their body language (ex. facial expression, hand movement, etc.)
- I manage to express my ideas clearly.
- I feel free to politely voice my disagreement with someone in a position of authority
- I am completely at ease when a conversation shifts to the topic of feelings
- I would rather bite my tongue than start a conflict.
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- CalTech Tries to Teach Tech Wizards People Skills
- Uncle of Sacha Barron-Cohen’s discovers that eyes really are ‘the window to the soul’
- ON BECOMING A SUPER GEEK
- Good News Beats Bad on Social Networks – from the New York Times
- Ny times Your Phone vs. Your Heart
- Wired.com – The Geek Syndrome
- 32-Year Study Shows How Geeky Kids Become Happy Adults
- It’s all about who you know – New York Times
- MIT is a charm school?!